Love is the Answer

"Love is the answer,

At least for most of the questions in my heart

Like why are we here? And where do we go?

And how come it's so hard?"

      This summer at Camp WOW we read (part of) a book called "50 Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die". So many times throughout that Bible study this Jack Johnson song came into my head. Always my faith gets tested by the simple question of "Why?". Of course I wonder why the world is so bad, why bad things happen to good people, why good things happen to bad people. I also wonder why we get so little say in being created "God, I don't remember asking you to create me and yet here I am. I did not ask to be put into a world of sin. I did not ask for my parents and their problems, my culture and its sicknesses and definitely not my own feeble mind and body and its shortcomings. But I'm here. Why?" 

      I am human, and as stated I am weak and feeble minded. But here is what I have learned: God loves me. Jesus died because I was born into this sick world, unable to make it or myself well. It seems illogical that you HAVE to believe in Christ, even if you are what you call a "good person" to receive Heaven. But it is actually insane to think that you could be good enough to earn Heaven. Take a look at yourself. Even on my very best days, I am selfish, unreliable, petty, prideful and the list goes on. So why did God even create me, if this is the sick state I was born into? Because he loves me. He loved me when he created the heavens, when he created earth. He loved me with agape love, a love that I can hardly even grasp. If you had a child that you knew would do wrong, that you knew would hate you at times, that would give you a hard time and cause you pain, would you just decide it wasn't worth it and get rid of it? I don't think you would. How much more does God love us? We have despised and hated him at times; I know I have. We have turned away, fallen short of his glory. But he does not give up. His love is relentless.

      I heard it described as an obsession. The Lord is obsessed with loving his people. I read Deuteronomy over the summer and as the Lord speaks through Moses he says he knows these people will turn away from Him again. He knew they would build walls of sin again Him. He knew they would abandon Him, forget Him. But He continued to bless them, He never gave up, not for Israel and not for the church today. While reading I could't believe the people would be so stupid. To not accept His love, to not obey His word, the hypocrite that I am. 

      The Bible says that faith is a gift, and that we all have a certain measure. I used to think I must have gotten the last drops at the bottom of the bottle because I had to fight to believe. But through my life, my faith has grown stronger. And I am glad I was so skeptical for so long because my search has always been for truth. Truth. Not tradition, not comfort. Truth. And the truth is that God loves me. And all of my friends, all of my family. All of the world and I have the chance to share that. 

      When I sat down to write today the reason was because I came across the idea (while watching lifechurch) that "what moves God the most is God". When I heard that all of my confusion about how faith is a gift of God started to make sense. I used to worry about faith being a gift, because what if all that really meant is we are a bunch of people making up faith in our head that doesn't exist? But I was born with eternity in my heart, we all believe in a form of God, we all long for permanent existence. And a reason is because when you're a parent it's not about how much your child loves you, it's about how much you love your child. It's about  how much God loves us. I don't have to feel weird asking God to give me faith, it is His pleasure to pour it out on me. I can ask Him to help me to love him more because I have been tainted by sin and the world and I need his help. He loves me unconditionally, it's not always the other way around. 

Psalm 119:41-43

Let your steadfast love come to me, O LORD,

your salvation according to your promise;

then shall I have an answer for him who taunts me,

for I trust in your word.

And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth,

for my hope is in your rules.

Psalm 119:73

"Your hands have made and fashioned me;

give me understanding that I may learn your commandments."